its 2am in the morning
2 hours into the brand new day
im not asleep yet
whats keeping me awake is the medical terms,
resuscitation, internal haemorrage, pancreatic cancer, jaundice
had to google them to rest my mind, now that i know bout them, true i feel better
yet worse at the same time,
its getting worse is it?
tell me no,
tell me its just tonight.
its not entirely good to be enjoying ice cream and receive a call from your bro spelling all the bad news.
its not entirely good to be unable to sleep well at night due to several reasons
it aint good to feel that time is slipping away slowly from your fingers
first, a month,
weeks
then days
then stopped counting
then days with one hand
then now hours
28 more hours.
that hand will slip off
the warmth will wear off
the sight will soon be blurred by tears
the craving will begin
gets stronger each day
the mind gets weaker
the craving strikes heavier every hour now
the hand turns colder.
the hug that is desired is days and weeks away...
hold on tight jasmine, for this 28 hours
bin, i really dont want you to leave....
20090831
20090829
same day, same month,same year
teeny wheeny thoughts:
girl to steelwoman
imagine being together with someone who is born on the same day, same month and same year as you
its likened to being together with your twin with no blood ties
sound like some paradox but true enough this two people of the same birthday are together now
when they quarrelled and went on separate ways to chill off,
they met at the exact same spot,
no more words, just a hug and tears
its just camaraderie and telepathy.
imagine celebrating your birthdays and singing happy birthday to us instead of me or you
well thats what they did
and they are so gonna get married on their birthdays..
this was on a channel 8 show, happen to see the repeat telecast today so ya was pretty amazed by it
and the amazing thing is the guy who was colour-blind made a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle for her.
its so difficult when everything is black and white and yet he did it
and well she did sacrifice too, she waited 2 years for him just so that they could be classmates again.
ah sweet!
the study break is finally here, ah wells but im just taking the 4 days of break to spend with boy since he's leaving real soon):
see its 4 days only.
4 days of pure fun with him, hope this 4 days will last me for 6 weeks
the memories we share this four days, let it be my food for the next 42 days
i guess i have to be contented and be ready for it
i dont want to spend the few hours regretting why havent i spent more time with him
i just wish to send him off and tell myself be strong be strong.
sending him through the departure gates would bring tears
but after crying, i hope i would be able to bury myself in books and strive hard for prelims
i dont wish to think that this is the wrong time anymore.
i just want to face this.
no more running away
not this time.
not when there is only 4 days left...
its likened to being together with your twin with no blood ties
sound like some paradox but true enough this two people of the same birthday are together now
when they quarrelled and went on separate ways to chill off,
they met at the exact same spot,
no more words, just a hug and tears
its just camaraderie and telepathy.
imagine celebrating your birthdays and singing happy birthday to us instead of me or you
well thats what they did
and they are so gonna get married on their birthdays..
this was on a channel 8 show, happen to see the repeat telecast today so ya was pretty amazed by it
and the amazing thing is the guy who was colour-blind made a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle for her.
its so difficult when everything is black and white and yet he did it
and well she did sacrifice too, she waited 2 years for him just so that they could be classmates again.
ah sweet!
the study break is finally here, ah wells but im just taking the 4 days of break to spend with boy since he's leaving real soon):
see its 4 days only.
4 days of pure fun with him, hope this 4 days will last me for 6 weeks
the memories we share this four days, let it be my food for the next 42 days
i guess i have to be contented and be ready for it
i dont want to spend the few hours regretting why havent i spent more time with him
i just wish to send him off and tell myself be strong be strong.
sending him through the departure gates would bring tears
but after crying, i hope i would be able to bury myself in books and strive hard for prelims
i dont wish to think that this is the wrong time anymore.
i just want to face this.
no more running away
not this time.
not when there is only 4 days left...
20090823
mug-a-TON
teeny wheeny thoughts:
i love my pt and ft
its chiong-biong day with pt and ft:D
love love yea
its like 4am right now, feeling quite alive just reminds me of how i chionged my physics Os till 5am haha
pretty cool, now that im not alone
when i think back on the preparation for the BIG As i'll remember tonight
freaking 20 hours of mugging
hell man
its good coz its filled with chocs, chips and yummy macs?
hmmm yeah!
jiayou after our amazing breakfast it shall be our mug-a-TON once more whooohooo
love love yea
its like 4am right now, feeling quite alive just reminds me of how i chionged my physics Os till 5am haha
pretty cool, now that im not alone
when i think back on the preparation for the BIG As i'll remember tonight
freaking 20 hours of mugging
hell man
its good coz its filled with chocs, chips and yummy macs?
hmmm yeah!
jiayou after our amazing breakfast it shall be our mug-a-TON once more whooohooo
20090819
tick tock clock
teeny wheeny thoughts:
you see you fight
the clock ticks
the clock tocks
the clock went tick tock like a time bomb
with around 10 plus days with baby
with about 20 odd days to prelims
with less than 100 days, comes the BIG A
with 3 months for the declaration of fate of the next 8 years
tick tick
tock tock
time's up, very soon
its time to be aware.
sometimes we hide, sometimes we run
but eventually it comes for us, it catches us and engulf us
this is it
no more hiding
no more running
we just need to face it
its here,
i can feel it
brace yourselves
less tears, more bravery
little boys and girls
grow up
its time to face the world, the truth, the reality
so little jasmine gonna step out of her comfort zone
take a big leap
saying goodbye to her boy at the gates
and face 6 weeks of lonely nights and days of mugging
just so to fight for a brighter future
saying goodbye to all temptations bit by bit
and be in the world of knowledge and books
just so to get a bloody good shiny paper after the BIG A
like a man pushed into a wrestling ring now,
it is fight or die
goodbye little girl, hello maturity and adulthood.
the clock tocks
the clock went tick tock like a time bomb
with around 10 plus days with baby
with about 20 odd days to prelims
with less than 100 days, comes the BIG A
with 3 months for the declaration of fate of the next 8 years
tick tick
tock tock
time's up, very soon
its time to be aware.
sometimes we hide, sometimes we run
but eventually it comes for us, it catches us and engulf us
this is it
no more hiding
no more running
we just need to face it
its here,
i can feel it
brace yourselves
less tears, more bravery
little boys and girls
grow up
its time to face the world, the truth, the reality
so little jasmine gonna step out of her comfort zone
take a big leap
saying goodbye to her boy at the gates
and face 6 weeks of lonely nights and days of mugging
just so to fight for a brighter future
saying goodbye to all temptations bit by bit
and be in the world of knowledge and books
just so to get a bloody good shiny paper after the BIG A
like a man pushed into a wrestling ring now,
it is fight or die
goodbye little girl, hello maturity and adulthood.
20090815
eighteen pieces of love
teeny wheeny thoughts:
colours of love aint just red
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
yes so hot with the accelerator suit OMG
no wonder i found him so familiar especially those 8 pecs!
and the sexy moustache is most certainly drool-worthy
sizzled when i saw his well defined muscles!:D
we're one and a half, and going on strong!
one and a half and we're bursting into the sky with brilliant colours just like the unexpected burst of fireworks that ignited the night sky tonight.
been such a long time since such coincidence struck our paths
but it happened today anyway, randomly just like our random meeting across the bridge
its ultimate sweetness having you hugging me as we stared at the amazing colours
one thing for such is that through the silence with booming of the sparks, we are thinking of love and each other
and most of all those other unexpected occurences.
i would build a city with lights and sounds
lights and sounds, from fireworks alone...
it maybe random but to me, they might probably be planned
just like our meeting across the bridge, random but possibilty of being destiny...
i dont believe chance comes so well
and this eighteen pieces of love im holding onto now, shall last the entire 42 days...
nothing can beat the enjoyment i had tonight, it was just you me the place one and a half years ago and the love spark in our relationship...
most of all, sweet sweet kisses throughout the entire night:D
dramatic and dreamy it may seem, but thats life isnt it
or rather life with you:)
20090810
the countdown
teeny wheeny thoughts:
if only i am devoid of emotions
the minute i fall asleep is also the minute that i wake up
it was 8 hours of this throughout the whole night
just staring at you, the ceiling and thinking to myself, why wouldnt i fall asleep
as much tired as i am, i am also clearly sober and awake
i dont really want to fall asleep and waste time snoring away
i just want to have a good night sleep in your embrace just as wad i intended the sleepover to be
in the end, the movie we watched made us still pretty awake.
and it became a bad bad night.
so a bad bad night caused the morning and the rest of the day to be really really bad too
its dumb. gosh hell dumb
could have just slept and it'll all be ok
but the fact is i really didnt sleep
the minute i fall asleep is also the minute that i wake up
the more i look at you, the more awake i feel
so i fidget, we fidget and we stared at each other open-eyed
i didnt meant for the night to be this way sorry honey.
the sleepover aint supposed to wear us out this way...
the countdown begins, 20 days more
tears or laughter, my decision
life and death too, this means
this 20 days are the determinants for 6 weeks ahead in time.
strong or weak, my decision
so many other things at stake,
the burden is heavy
the clock is ticking faster than my heart beats,
the history aint gonna repeat itself, because i have you to stay
so listen, here's my decision.
two words: STRONG, HAPPY
yes i'll be.
so it shall be 62 days of steel woman
or probably till the rest of my life
shoo away peter pan syndrome, out of the box JTJM, you will SURVIVE.
i want to stop crying now.
it was 8 hours of this throughout the whole night
just staring at you, the ceiling and thinking to myself, why wouldnt i fall asleep
as much tired as i am, i am also clearly sober and awake
i dont really want to fall asleep and waste time snoring away
i just want to have a good night sleep in your embrace just as wad i intended the sleepover to be
in the end, the movie we watched made us still pretty awake.
and it became a bad bad night.
so a bad bad night caused the morning and the rest of the day to be really really bad too
its dumb. gosh hell dumb
could have just slept and it'll all be ok
but the fact is i really didnt sleep
the minute i fall asleep is also the minute that i wake up
the more i look at you, the more awake i feel
so i fidget, we fidget and we stared at each other open-eyed
i didnt meant for the night to be this way sorry honey.
the sleepover aint supposed to wear us out this way...
the countdown begins, 20 days more
tears or laughter, my decision
life and death too, this means
this 20 days are the determinants for 6 weeks ahead in time.
strong or weak, my decision
so many other things at stake,
the burden is heavy
the clock is ticking faster than my heart beats,
the history aint gonna repeat itself, because i have you to stay
so listen, here's my decision.
two words: STRONG, HAPPY
yes i'll be.
so it shall be 62 days of steel woman
or probably till the rest of my life
shoo away peter pan syndrome, out of the box JTJM, you will SURVIVE.
i want to stop crying now.
20090803
tired tears
teeny wheeny thoughts:
tiring... really sometimes
i never realised crying can be this tirednot till recently that i have my tears to accompany my days with mei cried so much that i feel immediately tired after the outbursteach time before i cry i tell myself its alright to be weak and just vent it all outand unknowingly i've been having outbursts that happen one every 3 days or so?well i dont really cry about nothingor maybe they are really nothing after my tearsstress, boy, overseas, uni,prelims,alevels, home, life... and the list of stupid things continue.yup quite dumb actuallywell maybe at the point of breaking down i dun think that these things are stupidor rather the cry even more when i realise im crying coz of stupid stuff...i know i have to be strongsometimes the 'peter pan' syndrome would set right in and say i dont wish to be...i know i have to be independent but after days and months of being overly dependent on someone its tough to walk alone as a wholeim feeling like a butterfly who came out of my cocoon when someone disturbed it, so i know not how to flyand have no strength to fly...its a difficult task describing my feelings right nowjust a stoned mood, not really running away but just in a state of wanting to not think about anythingits tough baby, to promise that i'll be strong and yet each time i try its just so so hard.i know i have been adding on to the stack of work on your desk right now.but i just cant help itpromised that i'll be happy and yet each time i think of how a month from now, its no more, i'll tear uncontrollablyyou are tired too, i ought to know.you are stressed too, we both understand....its just like wrong time wrong date wrong place.feel frustrated at the thought of it.feel like getting pushed to the wall each time i tried to breathe.i asked a million times why nowyes why nowtwice the emotional stresstwice the painjust whirling all over again and again
thanks so much PTBF. your shoulder! and listen to all my rants.
i really dont know what i'll do without you right there
sorry for troubling you to be the middleman PTBF...
i'll be a good girl and listen to what you said just now
be strong and less dependent on this relationship of mine...
i love you PTBF!<3
thanks so much PTBF. your shoulder! and listen to all my rants.
i really dont know what i'll do without you right there
sorry for troubling you to be the middleman PTBF...
i'll be a good girl and listen to what you said just now
be strong and less dependent on this relationship of mine...
i love you PTBF!<3
20090801
the bitchy song
teeny wheeny thoughts:
you made me happy
you belong with me-taylor swift
You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do...
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'
But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
You belong with me
Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that
She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
Baby...
You belong with me
You belong with me
Oh'
I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong
I think I know it's with me...
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with
You belong with me...
acire is a bad bad girl! she corrupt her innocent friend like me with such a bitchy song hhaha and made me think of it the whole day lol.
PTBF!:D im so so so happy that we met up and studied together
thurs night was so uber romantic:D
i miss all the times we had back in chung cheng man but now that we're PTBF and PTGF we'll meet once a week:D
cant wait for monday!
jasmine shall be strong...
the million ton weight on her shoulders now
adding weight each day and every single second
till the day mr ironman comes home, she shall survive
and mr ironman shall carry her for the rest of her life:D
You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset.
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do...
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'
But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
You belong with me
Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that
She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
Baby...
You belong with me
You belong with me
Oh'
I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong
I think I know it's with me...
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with
You belong with me...
acire is a bad bad girl! she corrupt her innocent friend like me with such a bitchy song hhaha and made me think of it the whole day lol.
PTBF!:D im so so so happy that we met up and studied together
thurs night was so uber romantic:D
i miss all the times we had back in chung cheng man but now that we're PTBF and PTGF we'll meet once a week:D
cant wait for monday!
jasmine shall be strong...
the million ton weight on her shoulders now
adding weight each day and every single second
till the day mr ironman comes home, she shall survive
and mr ironman shall carry her for the rest of her life:D
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