sick of these words

whats the point of getting so damn frustrated now
whats the use of thinking that im so useless right now
you are over there, sick and weak
nothing i can do
not like i can buy a ticket and fly over to take care of you
not like i can send some medicine over
i could only nag and nag
saying the typical few words to want you to take care of youself
end up all those words fell on deaf ears
you still end up sick
blame the weather
blame your irregular meal times
blame your late nights
but those late nights are because of me too
so blame me?
yeah i guess so.
it has been only a week and youre already sick
how not to worry
how not to think if you would take care of yourself
how to trust that you will get better
youve been like this little boy who knows not how to take care of youself
now away from your mama, you keeping falling down
crying for mama, but mama's too far away...
the frustration blew up a million times given that anticipation accumulated through the day to just laugh
i was happy, at the start, laughing bout some nonsense
thinking im happy like this, booming music and laughing with you even though we're miles apart
saying yeah this is my present for studying so hard
end up, you became ill, told me bout your horrendous meal time
wanting so much to be this happy little girl, being strong and positive and all
but failed
end up with frowns
i didnt mean to start a war
i didnt want us to feel so upset with each other
i didnt want to be treated like some angsty and unreasonable girlfriend
i didnt want to be left alone here, thinking whats wrong
i didnt want to feel so helpless not being able to make you recover faster
i didnt want to come home and see you sick
i guess i didnt mean to be cold and harsh
i didnt want to be this frustrated....
i didnt want you to be sick.
i didnt want your voice to be so hoarse, make you feel so uncomfortable
i didnt. i didnt...
but i did.
i did.
as much as i didnt want to, i did.
its bad i know but i did
i have to say this im sorry that i did.
im sorry...