the countdown

the minute i fall asleep is also the minute that i wake up
it was 8 hours of this throughout the whole night
just staring at you, the ceiling and thinking to myself, why wouldnt i fall asleep
as much tired as i am, i am also clearly sober and awake
i dont really want to fall asleep and waste time snoring away
i just want to have a good night sleep in your embrace just as wad i intended the sleepover to be
in the end, the movie we watched made us still pretty awake.
and it became a bad bad night.
so a bad bad night caused the morning and the rest of the day to be really really bad too
its dumb. gosh hell dumb
could have just slept and it'll all be ok
but the fact is i really didnt sleep
the minute i fall asleep is also the minute that i wake up
the more i look at you, the more awake i feel
so i fidget, we fidget and we stared at each other open-eyed
i didnt meant for the night to be this way sorry honey.
the sleepover aint supposed to wear us out this way...

the countdown begins, 20 days more
tears or laughter, my decision
life and death too, this means
this 20 days are the determinants for 6 weeks ahead in time.
strong or weak, my decision
so many other things at stake,
the burden is heavy
the clock is ticking faster than my heart beats,
the history aint gonna repeat itself, because i have you to stay
so listen, here's my decision.
two words: STRONG, HAPPY
yes i'll be.
so it shall be 62 days of steel woman
or probably till the rest of my life
shoo away peter pan syndrome, out of the box JTJM, you will SURVIVE.


i want to stop crying now.