awake

its 2am in the morning
2 hours into the brand new day
im not asleep yet
whats keeping me awake is the medical terms,
resuscitation, internal haemorrage, pancreatic cancer, jaundice
had to google them to rest my mind, now that i know bout them, true i feel better
yet worse at the same time,
its getting worse is it?
tell me no,
tell me its just tonight.
its not entirely good to be enjoying ice cream and receive a call from your bro spelling all the bad news.
its not entirely good to be unable to sleep well at night due to several reasons
it aint good to feel that time is slipping away slowly from your fingers
first, a month,
weeks
then days
then stopped counting
then days with one hand
then now hours
28 more hours.
that hand will slip off
the warmth will wear off
the sight will soon be blurred by tears
the craving will begin
gets stronger each day
the mind gets weaker
the craving strikes heavier every hour now
the hand turns colder.
the hug that is desired is days and weeks away...
hold on tight jasmine, for this 28 hours
bin, i really dont want you to leave....