hurt me

where are you now?

the man who used to take upon the world with his bare hands

my mr protector who showed his suave yesterday

my bibi who was there to hug me to sleep?

loving you hurts. you said you love me but you hurt me, by loving you, i hurt myself
loving you hurts because i know not wad is loving myself anymore
when you love me you hurt me, but because of that love i have to get hurt.

dealing with your complicated life is one thing
but dealing with your temper is another
it is the latter that makes me tired.

those callous words that i uttered, i am totally aware of the pain that it delivers
but i am sure it is not as hurting as the pain i feel each time i have to force myself not to be unreasonable.
i dont even have the chance to be a girl anymore
i have no rights to demand for more
i have no rights to expect anything from you
everything i do, its backed by your reasons your so caled explanations
im not saying they are excuses.
but accepting it makes me feel like i have no call on my own, like i mean to accept it
by crook or by hook

before you even utter those words, could you offer a little more understanding
where goes your apologetic tone like last night
from the words that you hurt me time and time again
its gone, like as if yesterday was too good to be true, like putting up a show

it is of human nature that we act to protect ourselves.
first i be petty, you sought for understanding
next i was neutral, you became tired of these endless quarrels
then i was sacarstic, you said i've changed
who is the one falling short of expectations now
who is the one that keep wanting the other party to give more now
who is the one who seems to be too tired to care about these now
fine if you say im picking on the nitty gritty stuff to quarrel,
fine if you say im petty all along
fine if you sau you dont even bother.
see my point, im immune to everything that is happening right now.
not even tears.
you want space i give it to you.
you seem to have forgotten that i hate being left alone
i seemed to be under the control of your hands now
like a dog i feel
shameless, no dignity at all.
space, i give
understanding, i offer
you said it, i have it and i give.
asking nothing in return
then you said i've changed.
just because you couldnt accept that im setting up defenses to protect myself.
i cant protect myself.
so i need to get hurt.
is that it?
love is getting hurt?
the real meaning of love?
i know not anymore..